Emotional dysregulation can be tough to manage. Use this helpful guide to learn what causes it, discover different management techniques, and explore avenues of support in and outside the workplace.
Emotional dysregulation is when emotions become unpredictable and unmanageable to the point where they seem disproportionate to the situation. Someone experiencing emotional dysregulation may find that their emotional states feel intense or prolonged, or are difficult to recover from. While not exclusive to people with neurodivergence, it can be a common experience for people with ADHD and autism.
Emotional dysregulation can make it hard for someone to manage their feelings in both their personal and professional life, causing issues like:
Intense highs and lows: A person with emotional dysregulation may experience rapid shifts in mood, also known as “emotional lability”. Big emotions may crop up at inconvenient times, like when someone is in a meeting or during celebrations with friends. For the person displaying the emotions and those around them, this can be confusing, as it may feel like they’ve come out of nowhere.
Slow recovery: Even after a small dispute, someone with emotional dysregulation may feel overwhelmed or deflated for a long period of time. They may notice that others recover from emotional events quite quickly, whereas they struggle to “shake off” the feeling.
Low tolerance to difficulty: For someone who’s dysregulated, seemingly small inconveniences, like losing an item or being late for work, may cause big reactions or feel completely unmanageable.
Impulsivity: Emotional dysregulation often leads people to act before they think. They might regularly engage in unhealthy behaviours or react in extreme ways without pausing to consider their actions first.
Emotional Numbing: Some people with emotional dysregulation may use “numbing” as an attempt to block out overwhelming emotions. This might make them seem distant or unresponsive. In some cases, this can turn into what’s known as a “functional freeze”.
Emotional dysregulation isn’t caused by one thing. It’s usually caused by a mix of the following biological and environmental factors:
The most obvious cause of emotional dysregulation is the structure of the brain. In the brain of someone without emotional dysregulation, the prefrontal cortex (the bit responsible for decision-making, behaviour, and impulses) acts like the “voice of reason” for the amygdala (the part that handles fight or flight). This keeps reactions from spiralling out of control. Yet, in someone who’s dysregulated, the amygdala is hypersensitive and fires more frequently, while the prefrontal cortex’s connection to it is weaker. This results in a person’s emotions taking control before logic can kick in.
DNA also has a part to play in emotional regulation. This is because certain genetic markers can influence how the brain moves neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, which are essential for mood stability. This means two people can experience the exact same stressful event, but one person’s biology will cause them to feel the impact much more intensely and for longer. This is a key feature of the Diathesis-Stress Model.
We know that early trauma experiences can cause the brain to remain stuck in a perpetual state of hyper-vigilance (fight or flight). Even after a person reaches the safety of adulthood, their brain may continue to react to minor stressors as if they are life-threatening because that was the original programming required to stay safe.
Invalidation is when a child’s emotional expressions are consistently punished, ignored, or mocked. When a child is led to believe their feelings are “wrong”, they may struggle to manage those feelings appropriately. Instead of finding ways to self-soothe or learning that their feelings are okay, they may learn to suppress emotions so much that it results in an explosive outburst or a complete emotional shutdown.
Around half of autistic adults and approximately 30 per cent of individuals with ADHD are diagnosed with depression or anxiety in adulthood. For those with ADHD or Autism, emotional dysregulation is common and is closely linked with poor executive function. This can result in issues like autistic burnout and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Here’s how it shows up:
ADHD brains often struggle to organise or rank information. This means that small frustrations can feel just as huge and urgent as more major events. People with ADHD can also be more prone to “emotional flooding”, where a single feeling becomes so loud and all-consuming that it temporarily shuts off the logical brain.
In autism, emotional dysregulation is a common response to sensory or cognitive overload. When the world becomes too overwhelming or unpredictable, the nervous system can hit a breaking point, leading to autistic meltdowns or shutdowns. People with autism also often struggle to name or understand their emotions, meaning an emotion might only be noticed once it’s already reached its peak.
Emotional dysregulation can also occur in conditions like OCD, Dyspraxia, and Tourette’s. These conditions often involve dysregulation because the brain is constantly working overtime to manage intrusive thoughts or physical tics. This can become exhausting and take a toll on a person’s wellbeing.
If you’re experiencing emotional dysregulation, here are some helpful ways to rewire long-standing patterns:
Reset Techniques: When an emotional spike occurs, you may benefit from something like TIPP (Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing). This is a type of dialectical behavioural technique that helps to switch your nervous system from “fight or flight” to “rest and digest”. It involves focusing on things like body temperature and breathing to prevent yourself from becoming consumed by your emotions.
Mindfulness: Mindfulness may help you to self-reflect and notice the physical signs of anger or anxiety (like a tight chest or hot ears) while they are still small. By catching these signals early, you can use the prefrontal cortex to intervene before the amygdala takes full control.
Professional support: For many, dysregulation is rooted in brain structure or past trauma. Evidence-based therapies like Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) or EMDR can help with this as they’re specifically designed to strengthen the neural pathways between the logic and emotion centres.
If you’re an employer, you can support staff with emotional dysregulation by creating an environment that feels predictable and sensory-friendly. Try to focus on the following:
Clear, predictable communication: Many don’t realise that ambiguity can trigger dysregulation and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) in people with neurodivergence. Instead of nonspecific messages, like “Can we chat?”, aim to provide clear, written agendas or bulleted feedback. This gives employees enough time to process what they’ve read and regulate their initial emotional response in private, leading to much more productive face-to-face interactions.
Adjustments: Sensory overload can be a huge challenge for staff who feel dysregulated. Consider adjustments like noise-cancelling headphones, quiet spaces, dimmable lighting, or assistive technology for autism. By removing additional distractions, staff will have more cognitive resources available to manage work stress and stay emotionally steady.
Crisis prevention strategies: Rather than waiting for things to spiral out of control, work with staff to create proactive action plans. They might want to use a grounding technique and step outside the room, or nominate a go-to person who they can turn to when they feel out of control. Showing you want to help can remove some of the shame associated with dysregulation and prevent extreme emotional events.
No, emotional dysregulation isn’t a disorder. Although it can be commonly experienced by people with neurological conditions, it’s purely a descriptive term used when someone struggles to manage emotional intensity.
Very – almost everyone experiences brief periods of dysregulation. However, chronic dysregulation affects a significant portion of the population, particularly the neurodivergent community and those who have experienced prolonged periods of high stress or instability.
Yes. Trauma can have a deep impact on the nervous system, forcing it to remain in a state of high alert. This keeps the amygdala (the brain’s alarm) hyperactive while weakening the prefrontal cortex’s (the logic centre) ability to calm things down. Effectively, trauma teaches the brain that intense emotional reactions are necessary for survival.
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